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It’s a strange feeling to shed previous versions of yourself. It feels equally as strange to allow new ones, more honest and transparent ones, to flourish. We move through life trying our best to understand what we stand for and who we stand with and it’s hard to swallow when the realization hits that you might’ve been lying to yourself the entire time, filling voids wth useless distractions to give the illusion of progress without the vulnerability necessary to grow. The process of reinventing and evolving the honest way can be daunting, but the clarity and complete joy it can bring when committed to fully is priceless.
This sentiment has been the epitome of my 2 year disc golf journey. On April 13th, 2018 I quit my safe “9 to 5” and never looked back. I hopped in my Buick and took off for the West Coast, eager to begin living life more closely to my beliefs and taking the sport of disc golf as far as I could, however that may be. As I’ve moved through this new chapter of life I’ve discovered character flaws that have hindered my growth as a human being, things I wouldn’t have been able to reveal if I stayed at my comfy desk job.
Here is my attempt at a letter to a past version of myself that had constant negative, cynical dialogue running through his head from morning to night.
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Dear Brian,
First off, I love you. That’s still probably going to be hard to accept but be assured it will get easier. There are some things I want to tell you that I’ve learned from 2 years living on the road. I know you have a short attention span so I made bullet points for you. I promise it's not that long.
It’s okay to toot your own horn if you’re proud of yourself.
The world is not out to get you. In reality, the universe wants to help you. Allow it to do that.
You do not "hate people", you only dislike hateful people. Correct your self talk and the way you label yourself.
You are not lonely, you’re just running away from fulfilling your dreams and you feel empty. No one else can heal that pain but you.
You’re not unlovable, you’ve just been acting that way to prove yourself right and feel a sense of control. End that cycle.
Passionate, honest people are drawn to passion and honesty. Be someone you would truly be inspired by.
It’s easy to be kind and gracious when you get what you want. Don’t give up when times get tough. Sorry to be cliche but you’ve struggled with this big time.
Execute. Execute, Execute. There are people far less talented than you thriving in this world because they don’t overthink and they work to manifest their dreams quickly. People will grow tired of your ideas if you never do anything about them.
The closer you get to understanding yourself, the more people will question your intentions. It’s not that they’re bad people, they’re just not used to this version of you. The right people will take the time to understand, while others will be quick to make assumptions and drift away. It’s okay to let those people go, as hard as it may be.
Do the right things for the right reasons and everything will work out for you. You care too much to not make something good happen in the world.
Again, I love you. Keep going. You will figure this out.
Cheers,
Brian
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The past 2 years on the road have been the most transformative years of my life and I don’t plan on stopping that transformation from continuing any time soon. There are very, very big things on the horizon and I’m extremely excited to make them a reality. Thank you to everyone who has believed in me and supported me up until this point. I am filled with gratitude that I’m able to wake up every morning and give all of my waking hours to the thing that has saved my life and given me a sense of purpose on this planet. I promise to all of you still reading this that I am still all in, and will bring as much value to the disc golf world as I can. I’m not where I want to be yet but I will get there.
I am now heading up to Michigan to visit Discraft HQ, then down to Florida for the winter to practice, work, and build out my new tour vehicle for the 2020 season.
What a crazy year it’s been. Life is good.